Farewell

Tuesday, October 23, 2012 at 5:13 AM
hello there strangers!
*kruk kruk kruk*

hello dear blog, im sorry i did not  post much since the latest post that i have wrote. but now im back. temporary. so here i am, wanting to write some stuff that happen in my life which someday i might forget.

in 2 days time, i will be handling my rabbits to their new owner. It is actually, heartbreaking i must say. this is because i have been with them since they were born and some since their previous owner give to my bf. They are my sunshine, they brighten my life. I never expect it to happen so quickly. but somehow, i have to let them go. I give them to the new owner because after this semester, i will be going for internship and no one can take care of them. Even if i still keep them during that practical time, i still have to let them go because the next semester after my internship, it will be my final semester and then i am back for good.

i could not bring my rabbits back to my hometown because my mum does not allow me to have any pets at home. Here, in Melaka, is the only place that i can have a pet (in my case pets). Even though i have not give them to the new owner, i am starting to miss them. i wont get to see them whenever i going out, or going back (except for yoko because my bf wants him), i cant feed them anymore during the day and night, i wont be seeing them playing and fighting in front of the house, i wont see Juno bugging me whenever i clean their cage, i wont be able to see them running and jumping happily, i wont see Mochi tear off the newspaper and chasing Juno and Wonka, i wont see Hachi sit in the food bowl and whenever i take her down, she will go into the bowl again, i wont be seeing them eating all the time and excited whenever i give them hays and vegetables, i wont be able to pick them up and kiss them as i always do, whenever i want to, i cant pet Yuri whenever she lowers her head when i open her cage, i wont get to see them standing and laying down like a superman, and so much more.

i love them so very much. i did think i should not have them as my pet in the first place, but this is something that i always wanted and i am very happy that i bought Yoko and Yuri at the first place and Yuri give birth to Mochi and Hachi. i am so very glad that i accept Wonka when she was given by her previous owner and she give birth to Juno. i know i still have Yoko with me but i am gonna miss them so very much. no more calling them whenever i am bored.

i hope their new owner can take care of them better than me, then i will feel happy that they are in good hand and will be happy. as for me, all i can do is be strong. :')

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life

Friday, June 8, 2012 at 8:43 PM
in life, we cannot expect things to go according to our way and instruction. life is not a box of toys who need to be assemble by us using the instruction given. Lots of things will happen in our life, big or small, it gives impact to anyone in your circle.

all we gotta do is pray. Pray that thing will give a good impact towards u and if it is a negative, pray that u have the courage to face whatever happens in the future.

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you

Friday, March 2, 2012 at 9:01 AM
i cant help but being jealous with people who owns what i want in a relationship. we are living in our kind of relationship lifestyle. some knows our story some doesn't. My friend said i'm a tough cookie, have high level of patience. i admit i do. that's because i kept it in my heart, not letting it out.

i wanted you to be proud of me. i want when you see me and you'll say "that's my girl" with a proud face when u're with ur friends. i wanted to be the kind that make ur friends say "u're a lucky man" and you can smile all day long.

i wanted to be beautiful in your eyes. the only one that u'll cherish for the rest of your life. i wanted to be the girl that would not make u cheated on me and flirt with other girl. i wanted to be the one that you will never lie to.

i know i might be pain in the ass sometimes, getting mad or sulk or grumble or anything, but i did because i love and care not because it is my hobby or something.

there's lots of things that i wish i can have like others but all i can do is hope and pray.

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wasn't the best

Monday, February 27, 2012 at 8:50 AM
have you ever felt that you have done the right thing, the best for someone but you think that what you have done is actually not the best for them?
this is what i feel right now.



i am not the friendliest or funniest person on earth. when i meet new people in my life, i'll smile during the first, second and more meet and talk a little bit. i am just not the talkative one when it comes to meeting new people. you see, i am trying to be friendly but sometimes i just don't now what topic to talk about because i am afraid i might hurt their feelings. i wanted to talk but i don't want to be self-obsessive. i tried to make conversations but i guess it was not my best.

i am the one who always keep the feeling inside my shell. i seldom speak about problems because i don't want to drag or think or worry or whatever. i think keeping it to myself is the best because no one will know when i'll cry. i know this is not healthy but i have to because this is who i am. but i guess by keeping to myself and not sharing story to my friends makes them move farther from me. i am not saying but some. i could not make myself talking about love problems with anyone because i don't know how to start to talk about it. sometimes i become scared. scared knowing what is in the mind of the listener and their assumption towards me.

i am not a goody good girl. not a pious one either. im trying my best to live the best life, to change from past for the better future. sometimes what is in the past hold me to have a better future.

i am the one who don't know how to act and when to act. when someone is devastated, i just don't know how to calm them down. i just don't know what words to say and how to make that someone happy again. i think before i say but sometimes i don't know whether my thoughts are acceptable or not.

i am the one who cares for the person i love. i do really care. i just do not show much. no one knows what happened in my heart and my mind whether it is stormy, cloudy or sunny. i have my own way to show that i care but people might not realize it. somehow i feel like i might annoy people that i love and care.

i envy people who are friendly and can entertain their friendly really well. i can do that too but sometimes im afraid that my attitude might not be pleasant to them. that is the reason why you would see me being a shy and quiet person. i do not know when will i be transforming from a shy caterpillar into a friendly butterfly. it is not easy when u have low self confident.

i'm sorry if i annoy you, do not talk much, not friendly and funny, or whatevs.
this is who i am. i am not the best.

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25 random things about me

Wednesday, January 25, 2012 at 8:06 AM
25 random things about me:

  1. i love to cook.i thing i learn to cook when i was in Melaka. it was when im 18yrs old.
  2. my dream is to be a baker or a chef. but i did not take culinary arts for my diploma for some reason.
  3. i always cook with onion and garlic but i never eat them.
  4. i am picky with my food, well it was until i studied in Melaka. the only thing that im still picky about is bean sprout (because of the story that bibi told me).
  5. im not a big fan of chilli sauce. i will choose ketchup whenever i go to a fast food restaurant but if the ketchup is finished then i will take chilli.
  6. im a slow eater. i dont know why but i think people around me eats faster than me.
  7. i have this habit of dividing foods in my plate. i will separate them instead of mix them together. u'll see when u eat with me.
  8. i started to eat cheese when i was 17 yrs old. it was when my friend david brings cheese cake to class and insists me to eat it. since then i love cheese. why the hell did i hate cheese?
  9. i have never ever eaten a baskin robbin ice cream cake. sad right?
  10. i do not eat snacks much. when i bought a choc or chips, i will eat a small amount and keep the rest of it until i dont know when.
  11. im a quiet person actually but when im with my friends i will be hyper. not sugar-high hyper just hyper.
  12. i love to sing eventhough i dont have the good voice. i will sing especially when im happy or tense.
  13. i love photography, lomography. i have fisheye and holga but i didnt use them much. gonna start real soon.
  14. i love yuna, adele and zee avi. both of them are awesome. i love yuna with qi. they look so cute together. seriously!
  15. i always wanted to have a picnic at the beach or under a tree at a hill.
  16. i think a lot. i think about the consequences before i do something
  17. when i go shopping, u will see and hear me saying "oh, thats cute" , "omg i love this" but i will never buy them. whenever i see things i want to but i will think "is it neccessary", "can i use it again in few more years", "which clothes will match with this one", "is it worth the price". u'll see me stare at that thing for a long time. thats because i think to buy or not to buy.
  18. i could not wear a skirt. a dress is ok but not a skirt. it feels weird.
  19. u will see im not being friendly but i just being shy.
  20. i used to read the dictionary but it only last for a few page at the letter A. i was bored at that time.
  21. i have "bantal busuk". i slept on this pillow when i was baby and i still keep it. my grandma always change the cover for my bantal busuk.
  22. i love slipper. i wore them to class, to eat, to shop, basically everywhere. i seldom wear heels or wedges or pumps. i guess im not the girly type.
  23. i have giant patrick star in my bed. complimentary from my mother's friend :D
  24. i have been hospitalized because of period cramps.
  25. i love art. i love to create something. i love to colour something. :D


that is all for today folks! :)

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2012

Monday, January 23, 2012 at 7:27 AM

hey hey. it's been a while ya? today is the first day of chinese new year, so yeah,
Happy Chinese New Year! :)

i have always wanted wrote this in this blog but i guess i did not have the guts or time to write it.

you see, for almost 22 years im living in this world, i have always heard about people traveling to different places. me? i have only been to kuala lumpur and melaka (this considered regularly since i studied in melaka), port dickson, cameron highland, johor, singapore,kota kinabalu and brunei (just pass-by) once and went to bintulu,mukah,sibu for a stop by just because we were on our way to kuching. i have never been to any other part of Malaysia. and this saddens me.

i love to travel but i never get the chance to fly to somewhere other than Malaysia. my parents both are businessman so it is hard for our family to go for a vacation. when my mum wants to go to kuala lumpur, my dad have to stay in miri, vice versa. i guess the only time when we went for a family vacation is when the first time we went to Melaka to send my brother to MMU and next is my turn to MMU. even during my graduation day, they only stayed in Putrajaya for 2 days 1 night just because they were worried about their business.

i have always dream of being in the city of Rome, sitting in the boat in Venice, eating spaghetti and ride Vespa in Italy, see the Eiffel Tower in France, going to several places in United Kingdom, went to Miami beach, Las Vegas, Los Angeles and the bridge in San Francisco, see the culture and kangaroos in Aussie and New Zealand, the beautiful beach in Gold Coast, eating takoyaki or sushi or ramen or miso soup in Japan, rest at Bali or shops at Bandung and Jakarta, and not forgetting perform my hajj in Mekah.

i guess im just a dreamer. how can i go to all these places? if only im a rich person. whenever i saw people tweet or update their facebook saying they are going somewhere for holiday, no matter it is inside or outside Malaysia, i would be so jealous. true story. i would say "oh my, lucky you. when will it be my turn" every time in my heart. if i could not travel in Malaysia, how can i travel outside Malaysia right?

i always thought of going somewhere with boyfriend, like in the long distance relationship 5983 video in youtube. they went for a holiday together in a flight and they just spend time together. we used to go cameron highland together with his brother but for only one night. i always wanted to asked him to go to KL together just for a day trip but i know his answers will be. we could not travel to kl by using his car because of the condition and time constrain. you might say "why dont u used the bus?" i did ask him though but it is hard to travel using bus if u want to go lots of places. we used to go to Shah Alam for my bestfriend's doa selamat at her house. we travel from Melaka to Shah Alam at noon and we went back at night. we should be back in the evening but we didnt realize time moves really fast. but it was fun though. only both of us with random plan. random plan always the best plan. someday we will do something like this again.

i have lots of things that i need to accomplish including the traveling part.
for now, i can only be a dreamer but someday i might accomplish it.
Insyaallah.

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