sunshine above my head

its holiday now. yeah! im going to kl with kay and yan. tggl kat rumah yan. then on monday i'll go to mid valley. my mum is coming! shopping time. :D

goodbye melaka. on thursday i'll be coming home. i guess its thursday. i cant remember when will we (me and my bro) go home. oh how i wish i can go back to miri. most of my friends is at miri. H1N1 punya pasal diorg dpt cuti. MMU bile lagi? tggu smua mampus?

i had a fight with him. fuck u. kau nak aku je yg layan kau tp kau x layan aku. damn la. kau ada credit kau x msg aku. kau marah aku x msg kau. aku xde kredit la! cant u be gentlemen for a second? kau nak aku je buat move. kalau aku x msg kau mrh. kau x msg aku ade aku mrh? bodoh la kau. jgn ego sgt boleh x? kau pk pasal kau je. aku kat sini ade kau pk? kau taw nak marah aku je. isk!

ok2. enought with that. aku nak pack laptop. bye.

goodbye love. :)

aku sedang duduk di taman dan melihat seorg budak kecil yg comel duduk diatas sebuah bangku. aku pergi ke arahnya dan duduk di sebelah nya. budak itu tidak berganjak. aku hairan. dia tidak memandang aku pun. hanya melihat sekumpulan kanak2 bermain di hadapan matanya.

semalan kita dah kehilangan seorg wanita yg berbakat, seorg pengarah filem yg terkenal dgn movie nya yg best2. still wonder who she is? she is Allahyarham Yasmin Ahmad. she died because of stroke, a great human killer. one day, she collapsed during her paperwork presentation at TV3. since then she's coma and she lost the battlefield at 11.25pm. it is a very sad day. she is a great movie and advertisement maker. i love her movie. Sepet,Gubra and more. her latest movie talentime is the last movie that she made. she was 51 when she left us. Allah lebih sayangkan allahyarham. now who's gonna make a movie just like her? sob sob. :( sedekahlah Al-Fatihah utk allahyarham.

hello. im waiting for mcd right now. grrr. mcd delivery is so damn slow. slower day by day. adoii. wish kfc have delivery. :( i havent taste the cheezy chickaroni or whatever they called it. ngaaa. i need cheesy wedges.

next week. exam. damn. dah la 2 exam. both 4 and 5 chapter. adoii. dah la susah. ngaa. mcm mana ni mcm mana ni? *lari mcm org gila n tanya org kt sekeliling*

im bored. im fed up. with lots of things. ngaaa.

dah la. im hungry. need to eat. :(

love isn't just about money and feelings. its about how partners deal with any problems during the relationship.

love is not love by just giving money for the other half. i mean. if sharing it still ok. if the other half would not do the same as u did then u should understand if u have been in that relationship for a long time. i have been in that situation and it sucks. once they have all their wants then it is time to say good bye. in relationship it should be equal. not less. sometimes if the other half give more that he/she is expecting something that u might not like. u know what i mean right? it is ur choice to stay and suffer or leave. u should realize by now. do not blind ur eyes.

feelings. sometimes it can fade away. i did encounter this before when he said the "im bored with this relationship". its my fault to stay and trust that we can make it right. but it is his mistake to say that and leave. and now who is finding whom? i stiil wonder what did i do until they say that. i did everything that they want including things that i did not want to do. but still they leave. so men. tell us women what do u want in a relationship that would not bores u.

p/s: if u still cant realize i dont know what to say

:)

i'm homesick. seriously. im utterly dismay. i did a lot of things last night to wash away that feelings. from doing word search, reading cecelia ahern's thanks for the memories(thank god i didnt read a dictionary), making a bookmark, and drawing. i drew my own house and my room (i would draw the entire part of the house if i wasn't sleepy). exactly the way it is. home. lots of memories. oh god. im so wanna be at home in miri. why do i have to wait until raya to come home? :(

oh hey. today is marlyanna's birthday. happy birthday ! hope u have a great birthday today. with lots of cakes and present. mesti best kan? bila la bday aku nak sampai. have fun on ur day today ok?when will we meet up? im sooo damn missing u. cant wait to meet u. :(

i need a new clothes. new shirt new jeans. and also new bags. ngaaaaa.

mum. i want lomoholga please.

im bored. i just bought new cable for the 3rd time. grrr. dah la rm10 for 4 metre. i bought a new one because its useless. can u imagine i have to hold that damn wire to have a connection. ngaaa. dgn ep punya interenet yg slow.

i've try sudoku yesterday. i know i know. lame kan aku?baru nak try padahal benda tu dah lama. i've never try sudoku because im not interested. mumtaz bring a book of sudoku to class yesterday. i tried it when we done with the discussion. haha. its ok i guess. i mean sudoku.

dah la. off to bed. class at 6pm. damnit.

i want someone who wont be mad at me when i wake up b4 12 and after 12
i want someone who wont be mad at me when i go out late
i want someone who wont be mad at me when i sleep late and make me sleep b4 12
i want someone who wont be mad at me when i do not top up my credit and say "jgn kedekut sgt"
i want someone who wont ask me to say sumpah lillah demi allah, sumpah depan quran just to make sure that what i say is true.
i want someone who when he doesn't have credit and i dont have to send message to him everytime or after 2 or 3 hours from the latest msg.
i want someone who wont be mad at me with a simple matter.
i want someone who wont be mad at me because he thinks that i've change
i want someone who wont be mad at me when im mad at him
i want someone who wont be mad at me when im studying and did not concentrate with him
i want someone who wont accuse me of having an affair when i'm late replying his msg
i want someone who know how to treat me well.
i want someone who respect me.

care to be one?

oh. there is more than this but i think this is enough. what u see, what u've read is what i've been through and what i've done for him. and yet he did not appreciate me. i have been patient enough for a long time. really really patient. now im mad, real mad joe jackson.

i cant wait to buy my baby lomoholga. come to mama. haha. lol. im really seriously truly madly deeply insanely in love with that camera. please. dont buy it first. let me buy it then u can buy it. ok? deal or no deal?

urgh! i hate ep's internet connection. i cant online like i used to. haih. nak buat streamyx mcm alang2. nak beli broadband mcm malas. ye ye. i know. byk songeh kan? haha.

wuu. nak seoul garden. :(

gosh im nervous. seriously. this sem is killing me. ngaa. i just sit for mid term exam last friday. that is the first one and not the last one. i got 2 more at the end of this month. grr. eventhough it is just a mid term but hey it will have an effect on the final result. sob sob. i hate this sem. a lot. i have to present in front of the class. ngaaa. and lots lots of work to do. few more weeks then it will be midterm break. then final. oh god. im so not prepared yet. ngaa. kenapa masa cepat je berlalu? cant we relax a bit?

dah. nak mkn. babai.

p/s: td tgk ade org kusyuk tgk anugerah planet muzik kat abrar. haha.

hello. selamat pagi ahad. agagaga.

aku x phm kenape kalau aku bukak je blogger idea xde. kalau dah tutup ade plak. ngaaa. *trnganga besar dgn muka yg retard*

tgh dgr lagu obsessed. aku dgr mcm kelakar. i mean. they fight through song. its eminem's fault. (kot. xtaw cte yg sebetul2nya. mane la taw mc ade bgtaw pape ke tu yg eminem mcm tu). haha. biar la. asal lagu sedap. weee.

kwn aku dah kapel dgn org yg die suke. oh best nya. i know he will treat her well. seriously. lol. jaga la nya mena2. dah dkt ya boh nak brolah. kau x jaga nya siap kau. haha. mcm la aku tok kuar. adoh.

aku selalu ingat hari ni hari ahad. tp hari sabtu. tp xpela. dah bertukar hari ahad dah.

eh. hari ni anniversary. emm. happy anniversary b. haha. aku rindu masa dulu. seriously.

kenapa malam2 aku masih dpt cium bau asap? *buat muka suffocated*

hamster aku x gemok2 lagi. dah la kuat tdo. kesian xde partner. nak beli partner utk die tkt mati lagi. haih. mat. cepat la membesar ye. boleh buli. :D

kay ckp die x phm ape yg aku post hari tu (xtaw post yg mane). haha. nang merepek pun post ya kay. xtauk mok mdh apa. ya men entam jak. :D

aku rindu nak main uno. (tgh tgk uno stacko skrg tp xde org nak main)

aku nak balik please. :( cuti nak buat ape? waaaaa. :((

plan utk esok:
*tgh pk nak buat ape esok*
















*masih pk lagi*



























emm. ok la. babai. :)

tell billie for me. bye bye black bird.

oh hello. hari ini sabtu. sabtu. emm. yup. sabtu.

semalam 2 warga mmu cyber telah dtg menjelajah bilik b-01-01 di emerald park di melaka. pada jam 1900. 2 warga tersebut adalah nisha dan yana. yeah! akhirnya anda dtg juga ya ke melaka. tahniah diucapkan. wuuu. semlm ktorg masak special utk diorg. wee. tp hari ni dah balik dah. pkl 4.30 tadi. sob sob. lain kali dtg stay la lame ckit. 2 days 1 night is not enough la. wuuu. rumah dah sunyi balik. sob sob. what should we do now? :(

saya mahu hujan please. the one that pours water from the cloud. lots lots lots of water k?

saya mahu menangis. seriously. x tipu. x bulak. im not lying. bahasa apa lagi?

dah la. sob sob. bye. :(

oh. saya rasa mcm mahu marah. berada di dalam keadaan yg tidak stabil lagi. haih.

mari kita sama sama terjun dr bangunan atau pun dari stesen ktm ataupun lrt seperti di dlm cerita jepun bertajuk suicide circle. mari2 kita tubuh satu kelab bunuh diri seperti di dlm cerita itu juga.

dari tadi aku terfikir anjakan paradigma. dan dari tadi juga aku nak tulis. aku dah tulis ayat itu pun tidak mencukupi. aku perlu kaitkan ia dgn sesuatu.

hari ini kau datang riang tersenyum membuat ku senang. kau hias diri mu. membuat hati bertambah sayang. ( ini tiada kaitan dgn sesiapa. ini hanya sesuatu yg bermain di minda.)

esok aku bakal bertarung. bertarung dengan masa yg telah diperuntukkan untuk aku berada di dlm kelas dan mendengar celoteh pengajar. selepas esok hari rabu mungkin hari untuk kami benci sepanjang semester ini. oh kenapa kami harus belajar di dlm keadaan begini. kenapa tenaga pengajar harus mendera kami dgn kerja2 yg bertimbun dan hanya memberi sedikit masa untuk siapkan? oh aku rindu zaman sekolah. tidak perlu berbuat begini. penat kerana memerah otak dan penat kerana karenah tenaga pengajar.

aku berada di dlm keadaan yg tidak berapa stabil. mungkin seperti air yg sedang digoncang-goncang botolnya ataupun seperti kakak di mcd sdg mengacau mcflurry oreo dengan menggunakan sudu dan. oh sedap nya. boleh juga seperti seseorg sedang membuat uji kaji terhadap chemical yg baru ditemui. oh kenapa harus begini. aku perlukan anjakan paradigma.

menjadi seorg yg kreatif amatlah susah. aku bknlah seorg yg kreatif. namun kerja yg aku perlu selesaikan memerlukan kreativiti. wahai leonardo da vinci bagi lah sedikit idea. kami memerlukan idea yg teramatlah kreatif untuk berjaya.

aku mengalami masalah emosi yg tidak siapa akan tahu apa dan bagaimana mahupun siapa dan dimana ia terjadi. semua manusia mengalami masalah emosi dan setiap manusia mempunyai caranya tersendiri. sehingga hari ini aku sendiri tidak tahu apa masalah tersebut. aku hanya mampu berkata ia hanya masalah yg tidak dapat dihilangkan sampai bila-bila. dan pabila aku menangis siapakah yg akan menghulurkan bahu dan menenangkan jiwa aku?

oh warna awan itu kian gelap. adakah ia petanda akan hujan? marilah kita bertanya pada penganalisis cuaca.

hari jadi merupakan hari yg ditunggu tunggu oleh setiap insan. tepat pukul 12 kedengaran bunyi happy birthday atau selamat hari jadi atau ALLAH selamatkan kamu. mungkin ia tidak sekuat seperti menggunakan microphone daan mungkin ia hanya sebaris ayat di dalam msg. walau apa pun ia tetap bermakan bagi setiap insan. hari jadi selalunya meriah. ada yg baling telur dan ada yg baling tepung. dan ada yg buat lebih ganas lagi. mengikut kreativiti sendiri. aku x pernah kena baling tepung atau telur. aku hanya tahu membaling telur dan tepung kepada insan yg baru menyambut hari jadi. aku pernah terfikir ingin kena baling tepung dan telur lepas tu kena siram air dan kena letak whip cream. oh sedap nya. mcm tgh buat cake. hanya perlu letak perasa pewarna kacau dan letakkan aku di dalam oven. itu hanyalah satu idea. mungkin juga mata ditutup dgn kain diangkat dan diletak di dlm laut. mungkit itu juga satu aktiviti yg menarik di hari jadi. marilah kita sama2 mencuba perkara baru untuk hari jadi nanti ya.

mungkin sesetengah anda para pembaca sudah berfikir atau mengatakan di dalam hati atau kepada rakan apa yg sedang aku sampaikan sebenarnya. carilah. dan tidak akan kalian jumpa.

sudahlah aku berceloteh.

selamat tinggal dunia.

i just had my supper. chocolate waffles. :D me n mira walk from ep to u center just to get a waffle. but its not just waffle that we bought.mira bought rambutan and mata kucing. yeah! haha. at last my craving for waffles have been fulfilled. :D

while walking back to ep, we wished that uptown is as big as u center and have more than what they have today. i mean their product la. haaa. sure ramai org suka ape. xyah g jauh2. bawah ep sudah. haha.

im bored.

assignments makin hari makin byk. the more we wait the more assignments. ngaaa. masuk sem baru je dah ada assignments. mis 1 assignment. hr 1 assignment 1 case study enterpreneurship 1 report and 1 presentation and introduction to multimedia 1 assignment. ngaaaa. dah la dateline dekat2. haih. :(

rain rain please come down.please.

yana will be coming to melaka this friday. come come. and i'll bully u k? rindu nak gaduh dgn awk. balik nantii kite wrestling k? lol. :D

arghh! im bored. mala jak. i wanna go somewhere. anywhere.

:)

its nearly 6 and im bored. haih.

i had my lunch today alone. sob sob. but its great because i cook it. haha. my lunch for today is ayam goreng and sayur kacang masak telo. haha. cant believe i cook vegetable on my own. haha. that is the first time i cook that vegetable without knowing how to cook it the right way. well in the end it became like i wanted. great. now i can be a chef. :D i miss my grandma while i was cooking and eating that fried chicken. when im in miri she always cook the chicken and sayur kobis for me. and i like it. she never thought me how to cook that chicken or anything else. seriously. and once again it became like what i wanted.haha. gila puji diri sendiri aku nih. lol. but. who cares. i manage to cook something that i like and i eat. haha. can u see how much i love to cook? haa. tonight will be ayam masak kurma. oyeah!


during lunch me and kak syelly watch sayang u can dance. that is the first movie that use bahasa sarawak. not for the whole movie but there is people talked in bahasa sarawak. like dafi sharifah amani and some old person i dont know their name. sharifah amani just say once that is "kamek sayang kitak". just that and once. haha. the movie is ok la. not so bad. try to watch it.

last night. we watch a haunting in connecticut. it is based on true story. me and mira watch it at 1 or 2 am. that movie is good. that movie makes us scream. gila la. tp best. u should see that movie. thank god i didnt cry when i watch that movie. haha. menakutkan ba. ngaaaa.

tonight i'll be sleeping alone since mira is going to campus and she said she will stay there something about usrah. sob sob. why do i have to sleep alone?:(

my mum just called and she laugh when i say that i cook. oh mummy. why are laughing? cant u believe that ur daughter can cook? haha. lol.

im bored. and im off. bye. :)

hello people. today is wednesday. the wheather is cold and rainy. yay! its rain. thank you. :)

im in the library right now. in front of the computer to be exact. listening to pergi by aizat. lol. hye there azyan who sit beside me and also updating her blog. yan. x ckp lagi ke 3 post semalam? haha. lol.

im bored. seriously. im waiting for 6 pm because i have to accompany yan to her islamic studies class. i didnt take that subject because i cant handle too much subject. *screaming and pulling my hair*

i think i have mental issues. i dont know. i just think ok. please accept that. i think i should go to a shrink or whoever wanted to hear all my nonsense. anyone want to volunteer?

i just had lamb chop and maryland burger for my tea time. but still i didnt gain more weight. why am i still in this shape while everyone else keep increase or decrease their weight. hey. lets change our body. do you want to?

oh god. im bored.

hey. ice age 3 is released today. come come. lets go. its in 3D kan. come2. i want to watch harry potter and and and i dont know. i could only think about harry potter right now.its not like im obsessed with harry potter. i just wanted to continue to watch the movie so that i know what happen to the he-who-must-not-be-named. dont know what im talking about? go download the previous harry potter and spend hours and hours watching that movie k?

lets play a drum. i want to hit the drum until my arms are broken. can i? pleaseee. pretty pleaasssee.

hey. good news. sya and marly will come here this friday. to meet us la. we are sooo gonna have soooo much fun. and taking picture as well. it is a must. its been awhile since we met in the between of kedai chendol and pdi. oh how i miss that moment. sob sob. :(

i want to write as long as i can. i would like to write eveything that i saw here but nevermind. too much information. haha.

please. book me a room in pantai. i want to stay there. thank you. :)

now i forgot what i wanted to say. haih.

haih. tonight we got a meeting regarding on where to bom next. haha. lol. just joking. dont take it seriously la. we are not suicide bomers like the encylopedia said. the meeting is about what would we want to sell if we are an entrepreneur. oh no. we have to "thunderstorm". ( this word is only us to know and u to find out. )

ngaaa. im lack of idea now.

i need a new shirt. ngaaa.

oh no. i have to wash the ceiling fan. it should be yesterday or before yesterday. but i forgot. sorry. and i have to find another time to wash that fan. haih.

lets go jalan2.

its a shame to hear that a lecturer from mmu cyber took bribe from his student. he just ask for only rm800. aiya. so unprofessional. if you want to take bribe ask for more la. adoii. ( im not encouraging viewers to take bribe). he's a math whizz what. he should know more about numbers and amount. haa. he has been caught and plead not guilty. wait for the news whether he is sentenced to jail or just pay 5 times the amount of the bribe or both.

i know im bad. i know.

everytime i think of u i get a shot right through into the bolt of blue.
its no problem with mine but its a problem i find leaving a life that i cant leave behind. there's no sense telling me the wisdom of a fool wont see you free. but thats the way that it goes and its what nobody knows and everyday my confusion grows. everytime i see u falling i get down on my knees and pray. im waiting for the final moments u say the words that i cant say. i feel fine and i feel good. i feel like i never should. whenever i get this way i just dont know what to say. why cant we be ourselves like we were yesterday? im not sure what this could mean i dont think u're what u seem. i do admit ot myself that if i hurt someone else than i'll never see just what we're meant to be.

dah. im off to yan's class. bye. :)