sunshine above my head

have you ever felt that you have done the right thing, the best for someone but you think that what you have done is actually not the best for them?
this is what i feel right now.

i'm sorry if i annoy you, do not talk much, not friendly and funny, or whatevs.
this is who i am. i am not the best.

hey hey. it's been a while ya? today is the first day of chinese new year, so yeah,
Happy Chinese New Year! :)

i have always wanted wrote this in this blog but i guess i did not have the guts or time to write it.

you see, for almost 22 years im living in this world, i have always heard about people traveling to different places. me? i have only been to kuala lumpur and melaka (this considered regularly since i studied in melaka), port dickson, cameron highland, johor, singapore,kota kinabalu and brunei (just pass-by) once and went to bintulu,mukah,sibu for a stop by just because we were on our way to kuching. i have never been to any other part of Malaysia. and this saddens me.

i love to travel but i never get the chance to fly to somewhere other than Malaysia. my parents both are businessman so it is hard for our family to go for a vacation. when my mum wants to go to kuala lumpur, my dad have to stay in miri, vice versa. i guess the only time when we went for a family vacation is when the first time we went to Melaka to send my brother to MMU and next is my turn to MMU. even during my graduation day, they only stayed in Putrajaya for 2 days 1 night just because they were worried about their business.

i have always dream of being in the city of Rome, sitting in the boat in Venice, eating spaghetti and ride Vespa in Italy, see the Eiffel Tower in France, going to several places in United Kingdom, went to Miami beach, Las Vegas, Los Angeles and the bridge in San Francisco, see the culture and kangaroos in Aussie and New Zealand, the beautiful beach in Gold Coast, eating takoyaki or sushi or ramen or miso soup in Japan, rest at Bali or shops at Bandung and Jakarta, and not forgetting perform my hajj in Mekah.

i guess im just a dreamer. how can i go to all these places? if only im a rich person. whenever i saw people tweet or update their facebook saying they are going somewhere for holiday, no matter it is inside or outside Malaysia, i would be so jealous. true story. i would say "oh my, lucky you. when will it be my turn" every time in my heart. if i could not travel in Malaysia, how can i travel outside Malaysia right?

i always thought of going somewhere with boyfriend, like in the long distance relationship 5983 video in youtube. they went for a holiday together in a flight and they just spend time together. we used to go cameron highland together with his brother but for only one night. i always wanted to asked him to go to KL together just for a day trip but i know his answers will be. we could not travel to kl by using his car because of the condition and time constrain. you might say "why dont u used the bus?" i did ask him though but it is hard to travel using bus if u want to go lots of places. we used to go to Shah Alam for my bestfriend's doa selamat at her house. we travel from Melaka to Shah Alam at noon and we went back at night. we should be back in the evening but we didnt realize time moves really fast. but it was fun though. only both of us with random plan. random plan always the best plan. someday we will do something like this again.

i have lots of things that i need to accomplish including the traveling part.
for now, i can only be a dreamer but someday i might accomplish it.
Insyaallah.

happy 2nd Anniversary <3!

it's our day!

yeah. we're officially 2 years now.
how time flies. :)
this is the longest relationship i have been to and i hope it will last long
till death do us apart :)

i still can remember the day when he proposed to me on July 29, 2009
and i still remember how our friends tease us when they can sense that he likes me and the way they freaked out when we coupled.

i still remember that day we met at ps, all of us ate together. he came late with dayat. we didnt talk to each other (because im mad at him for going away during chat the night before).
after lunch dila was walking with me, going back to our house
and she said that he likes me.
i already knew and i like him too, but i keep it a secret.
seriously nobody knew about it.
when she tease me with him all i can do is laugh and said "no way, mane ade, macam mana u taw?" ahahaha :)

we always met at abraar. having shisha with friends. but none of them knew that we chat every night since the day i found him at fb. he told me he acted like he doesnt know me to start a conversation.
we exchange song by zee avi , kantoi since it was a hit song at that time. he already knew and he already have that song but still he asked it from me. :)

on 29 july 2009, i was in my room when i get a phone call from him. he asked me to go for a late night dinner with friends. i remeber saying " xnak la, diorg xde ajak i pun" then suddenly a message comes in from kay saying about the late night dinner. then i said ok and he picked me up, with dayat in his compact red car. all of us, in separate cars, went to K9. we sit next to each other and he's being quiet all the time because our friends teased him. i remember he wears a blue shirt at that time with "recycle girls". then after dinner we went back and all of them had planned that me and him in one car and all of them in the other car. still they want to tease us. i remember dayat do not know to follow whom because he asked him to stay with us and others asked him to follow them. eventually dayat followed them since they asked dayat to give us privacy. during the 10 or 5 minutes journey back home, we had a small talk. he's being shy and all. later that night we chat for a while and he proposed to me. :)

now, here we are. 2 years after he proposed.
still loving each other.
we've been through a lot and it does not break us apart
i love u Syuja'uddin Shahruddin
i really do and i do love you very much. :)