sunshine above my head

kdg2 nak. aku kan. aku rasa trpinggir. aku pun xtauk phl. mun ku ilek ngan kwn ku nak ku sa gya. asa cam aku tok x diperlukan. xda special pun. kdg2 aku rasa bg daknya aku tok kwn beysa jak. bkn mcm daknya dgn daknya. get what i mean? mcm daknya bestie la. aku tok x. aku just beysa2 jak. aku tauk aku pendiam. tp ntah la. i just felt that way. heu. aku xmaok rasa gya. x bgs ba rasa gya. sob sob. help me help me. :(

aku bingong aku blur aku ntah la.

semak glak palak ku tok. dgn probs ku n my thoughts. geram gler. waaa. :(

i love you
but ure someone elses n i dont want to be the reason both of u break up.

i cant wait to go home. i miss my room n my friends.
but something has change.

we broke up.
on either 24th or 25th. i guess its 25th. ya 25th. but we're still friends. hmm

when he say the word broke up. i cry. but not as much as him. but later im like him. my surprise dah xda guna dah. ive plan it since ive come here. ive made a plan. this saturday aku blt. aku kira nak agak nya ba. aku x pdh nya pun ku blt. tp flight ku mlm so knk tunda jumpa ri ahad pagi la. then aku ada ph video clip mekduak. i wanted to give to him. it was soo meaningful. but now. tiada pa. i guess he'll cry when he watch the video. i almost cried. because. its over. we can still hang out together but not like we used to be. he's the greatest u know. although we're always fight, argue a lot. i do love him. mun alip dpt nganok aku n aku stay ngan nya why not apis kan? tp he decided that we take a break. it sucks u know. thinking everything is over. ive got no one. its killing me. but its best for us. ily.

theres one thing. got another which really2 kills me. theres this guy. i met him at the mmu awards. i cant remember if ive told about him. he found me n i found him at wimirie. masa ya mekorg tgh mkn then i saw this guy then im like trnganga sbb nangga nya sbb nya laki yg ku crk2 lmk tok. so i told the gurls then theyre like looking at him pa indah smua ya. then we're laughing sbb ada la ya. haha. then mekorg nak chow nya nunggah ku asking for my hp no. so i give him. mlm ya nya msg. then dah lmk msg he say i love u to me. then one day. the secret has revealed. he got gf. im a lil bit shock but i just smile. pretending to be happy. but he say he wants me. i want him too. but ya la. haih. so mekorg maseh brkontek n we're like couple. time mlm jumpa. nya anggap aku grk nya. nya dikpun pdh. he say he love me more then anyone else n her gf. its hurt u know. knowing that i love someone elses. thinking about how the girl would feel if she knows about us. theyve been couple for 3 years ok. both family already know each other. dammit. knk la jd kat aku. i think he wont let go her gf. idk. grr. damn i hate myself. heu. ily. u know. i really love u. but. i dont know if i can stay like this. it hurt me u know. just know i saw him with her gf. masa ya ku lam keta. i recognize the hair the shirt the pants the beg. so im like. trkejut. but who knows in my heart kan? huhu.

alia's bf is soo damn nice. mbk mekorg jalan2. cta2 ngan mekorg. alia brtuah dpt jumpa nya eh. i wish i could have someone like that.

enuff la. ku nak cuci sweater then g kdy beli paper then study. i got exam this thursday. computer application. sabtu ada english. microeconomics ku da assignment. haih.

bah.
eh
oh ya
i cut my hair short. :)

i only got 1 week to decide. it is sure damn hard.

ive been crazy. yup. ive been doing lotsa thing that i used to think that i wont do it. it sure is hard. n hurt. involve some people. i donno. ive been confuse and damn stupid. ive should have known better. im sorry. im so sorry im soo damn stupid.

sok ku da test fundamental of business. mlm kol 8. nasib sama dgn azyan. haha.

tension ku ba. really.

emo ku eh. ngaaa.

im soorryy for everything.

gudbai. :(